The library on Jersey street in SOHO is absolutely ridiculous. The first floor is laid out nicely, however there is nowhere to really sit because the room fills up quickly. I look at one of the counter people and she looks at me then quickly looks away. I walk over to her “Can I help you?” she asks in an aggravating tone because she realized she made eye-contact with me and now she actually has to help me. “Yeah, is there anywhere else to sit?” I asked. “Yes.” she replied then looks down. “May I ask where or is that classified?” I asked. “Two flights down.” she replies as she rolls her eyes at me. “Thank you, is there something wrong with your eyes?” I asked. “No why?” she asked back. “No reason, you should really get that fixed.” I said back to her. “Get what fixed?” she asked in a nasty tone. “Your attitude.” I said, as I walked away towards the stairs.
Now for the ridiculous. The lower level is the children’s level or glorified daycare. Kids are running around, with no type of order or supervision at all. Mothers standing around with their lattes bashing their husbands to each other, as they compliment each other’s outfit and secretly hate on each other. It’s the usual SOHO activity, each one wearing their sense of entitlement like a badge, as if they own the place or if they’re at a private club socializing. I continue down the next flight to the basement where the apparent adult section is located.
Both rooms in the adult section are full. I walked around and arrive at a section that was completely empty. I sat down and unpacked my bag. 30 seconds into unpacking, I am immediately approached by a librarian. She told me that I had to move because I am too old to be in the teen section. Glancing at my watch, the time was 10:45 am. Now what teen in their right mind is going to be at a library 10:45 in the morning on a school-day(cutters, maybe, I don’t even know if that term exists anymore)?
As I finish repacking, I go back into one of the adult rooms which got even more crowded. People sitting around pretending to look at their cellphones and laptops. Meanwhile, all they’re doing is sleeping. “I’m done.” I said to myself. I begin my trek back up to the the main floor, I see one of the library employees and asked where the restroom is. She pointed around the corner. I walked around the corner and was confronted by a massive line of an interesting demographic waiting to use the restroom. A line consisting of homeless, library regulars and tourists smiling. This line isn’t going to work so I head to the stairs.
I come around the stairs and back into the children’s section and notice that it’s empty. No screaming kids or certified gourmet coffee sippers. I also see a restroom, no line. “May I help you?” says a voice from behind me. I turn around and asked to use the restroom and of course it’s only for children. I respect the fact that there is a restroom for children only. Children should have a safe restroom to use. However, just as I’m about to turn around to the stairs, I witness a grown man coming out of the restroom. He walks by, says “Thank you.” to her, then heads upstairs.
“For children only, huh” I said eyeing her. “Well he…” “Don’t even try it” I said as I interrupted her. I finish my ascension up the stairs and I’m back to the main floor and you guessed it, it’s empty. I walk over, unpack and have a seat. Just as I am logging in to start this article, I realize I still have to pee. Really!!?