Ride Share

So here I am taking advantage of a semi new ride-share company in New York City.  Not like we don’t have enough ride-shares in the city, however that’s just my opinion.  However, I really like this particular service, it’s like a glorified bus.  We are in one of those six passenger Mercedes vans going up and down the avenues picking up and dropping people off.

It’s Monday morning and of course the mood of the passengers is “shitty”.  No one wants to talk, they just want to get to their destination and start another miserable day at a job they don’t particularly like.  What I find comical are the passengers that feel this service is specifically and only for them.  You know whom I am talking about.  I classify them as the “Entitled Ones”.  The ride is never complete unless one of them gets on and huffs and puffs because we make a stop to pick up or drop off before their destination.

As we are making a stop, no one wants to move for her.  This is why I sit in the back so I don’t have to move.  Anyway, no one wants to move.  The passenger sitting closest to the door had the nerve to ask her to go around.  I said to myself, “You have to be kidding me, yeah, let’s have her go around into on-coming traffic because no one wants to move over one seat”.  Before I could say anything the young lady said it herself “How bout you move over so I can get in and we stop delaying everyone’s commute, it’s not like your ass is made of gold”?

Coming from a true New Yorker right there and I love it.  Everyone shifted a seat and she got on.  As she sat down she looked at everyone and said “That wasn’t so hard was it” and my response “No not at all sometimes people and asses are one of the same” as I looked directly over at the jerk who asked her to go around.

 

 

Summer Rental

So here I am, in an overrated and overpriced coffee house, having a conversation with a lovely lady which I can’t avoid, about how her husband rents her the same house, each summer in the Hamptons.  I also get to hear how it’s just for her and her girlfriends only, no husbands(lucky husbands).

I asked her if it is rented for the whole summer and she replied “Absolutely, I can’t just go for a few days”.  She then looked at me, as the typical “Entitled Ones” usually do, as if I am a peasant walking by her manor.  I don’t know what could’ve come over me to ask such a question.

I asked her another question as we’re patiently waiting for our 6 dollar cups of coffee.  I asked, how often she goes to Long Island for the summer and her response was “Oh, I don’t go to Long Island at all, I only go to the Hamptons”.  I furrowed my brow and walked over to the pickup area as my name was called for the small fortune I spent on a mediocre cup of “Joe”.  Really!!?

Problems with Originals

Just a quick note, I was in “Best Buy” a couple days ago over in South Brooklyn at the Caesar’s Bay Shopping center.  I was looking at the flatscreen televisions and I was approached by one of their employees who asked me if I needed any help.  I kinda shooed him away and continued to look at the sets and viewing the information on them.  I then started to do a little comparative shopping on the web to see if there were any better deals.

While I was shopping online, I hear a strong Brooklyn accent over by the computers and he was rather perturbed.  I started laughing a little and he looked over at me.  “You find something funny”, he asked as he glared at me.  After glancing quickly at his shirt with his name on it, I replied “No not all Joe, it’s good to see a few ‘Originals’ are still left in the neighborhood over here, you know what I mean, we’re disappearing”.  Joe then says “What are you talking about, I work with 4 Joes at my job, we have to refer to each by first name and last name’s first letter.  I work with a ‘Joe B’ ‘Joe D’ and “.

I then interrupted, extended my hand, shook his and said “Well it’s been a pleasure Joe and whatever your last name’s first letter is” and walked out of the store just saying to myself “Really”!!?  I guess he thought my name was “Joe”, and how in the hell can he think I was referencing to the fact that his name and my name  are the same, as opposed to being an original from Brooklyn.  I got out of there looked at my watch and saw it was time for a cocktail.


Cold Water

OK, here it its, I was sitting in one of my favorite restaurants last night and of course, there’s a group of obnoxious jackasses at the table next to me. They were having a good time and definitely already had a few drinks.  While they were having a meeting of the minds, one of these brilliant, productive members of society realized they hadn’t ordered yet so they flagged down their server.

The server came over and started taking their orders.  While he asked the most brilliant of the scholarly minds “What would you like to drink”, Mr. Intelligent responded, “Do you have cold water”?  Everyone just stopped and pretty much the entire restaurant stopped.  It was so quiet, you could hear the sound of crickets (figuratively speaking of course).  In my mind, they certainly aren’t going to offer warm water, what a dumb-ass.  It was one of those moments where you just want to say “What an idiot” or a few other expletives.  After about 30 seconds, life was back to normal and I asked for the check.  REALLY!!?


Breakfast

I was driving a friend of mine to work a couple of days ago and I was dropping her off at the usual spot which is this little cafe she likes to to sit at before she goes to work. I asked her “What is so good about this spot” and she replies to me “They have great breakfast there”. I said “Oh yeah, what do you have” and she said “I don’t have breakfast”. I am literally puzzled and then I asked her, “So what do you do in there” and she says “I just have coffee and a bagel”. REALLY!!?