Millennial Dating in NYC

I’ve been in a relationship for the last 5 years. No, it hasn’t been just one relationship in the last 5 years, but two separate relationships. Relationship one was right out of college. For me that was it, he was the one. I’ve been in love with him since the third grade and we both were finally at a point in our lives that it made sense and it was the right time. The first few months were hard as I lived in DC (finishing up my last semester) and he lived in Brooklyn. Little did I know that moving home would be such a bittersweet thing for us. That relationship lasted for about a year and a half.

Then, I found myself all in love all over again and this time this person would be the one I share my life with. We met at work and started a flirtatious friendship that grew into something beautiful. I felt like I was dating my best friend. We experienced so much together from tragic losses, major moves and vacations just to name a few.  When that relationship ended it really took a lot out of me. I didn’t only lose a lover I lost my best friend.  Like any normal person (or female depending on who’s reading and interpreting lol) I hit a state of feeling lonely and a little depressed. 3 months later my mother decided to put me on a dating app. Yes, I said it a dating app. I was super against it because I thought it was weird, but hell I figure anything is better than being sad. Well here it goes newly single and a millennial dating in NYC – what’s the worse that can happen, right?

Date 1: Anxiety got the best

“How’s work?” he texted.

“I’m ready to go home I’m aggravated now,” I responded.

Two simple messages led to what in my opinion might have been the WORST first date I could have been on. We agreed to meet at 8:30pm at a restaurant not far from where either one of us lived. I was so nervous leading up to the time, I had pep talks with myself, my cousin, my mom and my boss (listen a girl needs some reassurance after being off the market for 5 years).

I arrived and parked my car down the block, I didn’t want to park close because you never know who’s legit, weirdo or not, safety first. When I got there he was already there waiting for me so we can be seated. When he stood up to greet me, I was definitely taking back about how tall he was. His 6’6 muscular frame seemed really large next to my 5’7 slim frame. I was starting to relax, but after seeing him all those nervous feelings came back and I think I wasn’t prepared for how tall he was. But I gathered myself and my thoughts (so I thought) and we sat down.Millennial Dating NYC | You Me NYCThe restaurant was dimly lit, tables were close together and the AC was in full effect. We sat across from each other and started to talk, you know a basic conversation trying to get to know each other. About 5 min in, I started to feel a little tight chested and light-headed. The waiter came and took our drink orders, I got a margarita and I honestly forgot what he ordered, but we did end up ordering calamari as well. About 15 minutes into the date, I had to excuse myself from the table, my anxiety started to get the best of me and I needed a minute.

I went to the restroom to breathe and recollect myself so I could finish this date. When I got back to the table, I took a sip of my drink and tried to resume like nothing was wrong. Unfortunately for both of us, I was not successful at that. After being there for all of 30 min – I had to leave the entire date. I couldn’t sit there anymore – I needed fresh air and I needed to be out the situation. I felt extremely bad and embarrassed, but I did not tell him it was my anxiety, instead, I said I wasn’t really feeling well. Not a total lie, but I just knew I had blown it. He told me it was ok and not to worry about.

I left and instantly called my mother to tell her how embarrassed I was. Again she reassured me things happen and reach out to him. He’ll either genuinely be understanding or not and of course, she was right, but let’s never tell her that. He was genuinely understanding and eager to have a make-up date.

Priyanka Chopra: The International Star

 

Before entering Hollywood with Quantico and Baywatch, she was one of the mainstream Bollywood actresses that starred in many Indian films. Chopra had die-hard fans all over the South Asian countries.

After being crowned Miss World in 2000, she had already done over 40 movies in India. She is known for her performances in the movies Dostana, Salaam e Ishq, Bajirao Mastani, Mary Kom, and many more. However, her big break happened with her role in the 2008 Bollywood movie Fashion.

The plot renders a small town Indian girl who wanted to pursue her dreams of modeling but her parents had other ideas in store for her. She takes a risk by herself to be in the world she’s always wanted to be in. The story goes on to where she had to face many obstacles into becoming a model in what seemed to be a glamorous world.  However, it wasn’t what she really expected.

At the beginning of filming the movie, she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to be a part of the film. Her directors helped build her confidence to continue shooting. As the movie premiered, viewers were noticing how her role immensely affected her career in a serendipitous way.  She’s had a tremendous influence on other female actresses in India. A few years ago she also debuted in her first songs, In My City and Exotic featuring Pitbull and Will.i.am.

Aside from film and music, she was the national UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador. She is also associated with the Girl Up campaign. The campaign’s objective, no matter where a young girl lives, they should have the opportunity to become educated, healthy, and safe. Chopra wanted to build awareness for every child to have an education and skills to acquire jobs in different fields. Priyanka Chopra taught many girls around the world to follow their dreams through hard work and ambition.

Jamaica Avenue

I decided to shoot somewhere, I went all the time as a kid-The Ave.  Where I use to get the latest mix cd’s, clothes, sneakers or just walk around with my friends and people watch, capturing history. On a chilly Sunday, the streets were nowhere near as crowded as I remember and the Coliseum was closed.  It’s really only been a few years since I’ve been on that side but new buildings and businesses are going up quicker and quicker every day. I can’t even keep up with it, in my own neighborhood. But for the most part, it was actually just how I left it. As a New Yorker, to be able to go somewhere and it’s still the same, I can’t ask for anything else.

Crown Heights Brooklyn 25 MPH

Crown Heights has been known for a lot of controversy between certain demographics over the years and still has plenty of it.  If you’re a newbie to Brooklyn or New York City, do the research and you’ll discover how much there is.  I was walking up Brooklyn avenue towards Eastern Parkway earlier this morning and I witnessed another controversy, that affects all the  boroughs of New York City and the city itself.

The controversy I’m talking about is speeding.  Speeding is bad.  However, speeding down side streets, in residential neighborhoods, is just plain stupidity.  In our first image referenced below, we have the back of both vehicles that were involved in this traffic atrocity.  From behind it doesn’t look too bad.  What’s really ironic is that they are both the same type of car.  Both are Mercedes Benz E classes, same color and model of E class with similar years.
Crown Heights 25 MPH You Me NYC
The speed limit in New York City is 25 MPH(Miles Per Hour).  It’s 25 MPH for a reason.  Now I know we all grumble about this limit and I am one who has moaned and groaned about the fact the city is slow enough and the last thing we need is to slow it down even more.  However when you see an accident unfold and the aftermath, you kinda change your tune.

Ok, now here is the front one of the cars in the accident.  Now I am no crash expert, however, I can say that this car’s speed was definitely more than 25 MPH.  The victim on the stretcher, I say victim because he’s a pedestrian that got slammed by this vehicle.  There’s a second victim as well, the man’s young son who is not pictured.Crown Heights 25 MPH You Me NYCIf you drive in the city as much as I do or even drive in general, we all get annoyed at pedestrians.  They walk out into the middle of the street, on their cellphones, not paying attention to anything and just blindly cross the street.  This father and son did none of that.  They’re  pedestrians falling victim to the recklessness of someone else.  We as drivers have a responsibility to the pedestrian to be as cautious as possible and that didn’t happen today.

Conclusion

Now I don’t know the cause of this accident, other than the fact that I hear a horn, a loud bang and a father and son receiving the brunt of it.  All I know is I  am a witness to a controversy that affects us all.  People are always going to speed, we all know that.  However, speeding through a residential area is just ludicrous.  The next time you’re driving through a residential area and you need to make time because you are running late,  forget about it.  You’ll get there when you get there.  There is no point to save a few minutes at the cost of injuring or killing someone.

Last Butterflies in Bedstuy

Dwindling in population steadily over the last two decades, more significantly within this past decade, is a colorful, diverse and growing extinct species.  However, they have an amazing ability to migrate and leave many dazzled by their ability to move through spaces designed specifically against them. Wonderful beings, dying out by the haphazard misguidings of the authorities and communities meant to protect them. People of color deserve far more.

Once the majority of the ghettos we were once segregated to, slowly but surely a large shift in the neighborhoods once deemed “unsafe” by the people who now inhabit them. Either grown tired, evicted from or displaced, the numbers of the black and brown natives are exceptionally low. The faces of those who built up the oh so cultured neighborhoods are now more commonly seen with goofily smiling faces on street murals, as if in a happy memorial of oneself.

Last Butterflies in BedStuy You Me NYC

Even though there aren’t many things more discomforting than seeing the faces get paler closer to the final or ‘hood’ stops on the train. The thought of the young pupils growing further and further away from the mosaic of mothers shouting down shopping lists from the second floor, the quick sentiment of “borrowing” a jump from the pig tailed double dutchers disappearing or the barbecues that started on Friday and ended the week after fading away, is a striking one.

Chickens Coming Home to Roost

The chickens have come home to roost and I love every minute of it.  We all know, the “Yellow Cab” industry had quite the monopoly in New York City for years and now it is crumbling.  It was almost impossible to get a cab to take you out of the city a few years ago.  Hailing a cab and taking it to Harlem was out of the question.  The farthest I would get is east 96th street, along with a constant scrutinizing eye on me, from the cab driver, as we made our trek uptown.  Let’s not forget the appalling treatment of the African American and other minority communities as well.Chickens Coming Home to Roost You Me NYCThe chickens have come home to roost now that the rideshare game is in full force.  What amazes me more than anything else, is that instead of coming up with an innovative way to combat the rideshare industry, the medallion owners cry “foul”.  What a bunch of crap, they went and cried to mommy(New York City Council), that they can’t compete.  So what does mommy do, they cap the number of rideshare vehicles for one year and require that drivers be paid a minimum wage as well.

I am all for drivers getting paid a consistent wage and getting paid more.  Driving on the road 8-12 hours a day is a tough gig.  “Our city is directly confronting a crisis that is driving working New Yorkers into poverty and our streets into gridlock,” New York Mayor Bill de Blasio said in a statement.  I couldn’t disagree more with this statement.  What does ride-share have to do with driving working “New Yorkers” into poverty.  Funny, I thought “Gentrification” is what is driving working “New Yorkers” into poverty.

Gridlock, rideshare is the cause of that too, according to our mayor.  Forget about the fact that almost every street in the city is under construction with lane closures.  What about everywhere you look there is a new luxury building going up?  How many more glass atrocities do we need in the city?

Conclusion

What’s funny about rideshare is that we have already been doing it.  Brooklyn, and all the other boroughs established the “Dollar Van”.  I can’t speak for Staten Island, I have no clue what they did or how they take a cab to that borough.  The “Dollar Van” has been and currently is the equalizer to the “Yellow Cab” industry.

I was in a “Yellow Cab” this morning and it was the usual.  The cab stunk, the driver had a piss-poor attitude and of course he didn’t want to leave the city.  He better remember something, Uber and Lyft drivers have no problem leaving the city.  I have no problem replacing the “Yellow Cab” with a nice, comfortable and enjoyable ride with one of the many rideshare apps at my disposal.  “Yellow Cabs” are a part of New York City history, however it’s a part I don’t mind saying goodby too.

No More Poor Service

Just when did we start to accept poor service as normal? Each day I am disappointed and frustrated by the terrible customer service I receive from just about everywhere. A few years ago, I would have said my disgust was a function of my nearing 50, but each instance of poor service is leaning towards the slobberization of America. Yes, that’s right, the slobberization of America.

No More Poor Service You Me NYC

I was in Target, one of my favorite stores. I gathered all of my items and made my way to the cash register. The cashier was wide open. I was so excited, as this is a rare feat at Target. I placed all of my items on the belt. The cashier failed to acknowledge my presence. Strike #1.

He started to ring up my items while carrying on a conversation with a co-worker. Strike #2.

The topic, his date from the night before. He then packed my items, still no acknowledgment of my presence and continued to talk to his coworker. Strike #3. At this point, their conversation was so good, he forgot that I was there.

I stared at him with the intensity of a surgical laser. He finally realized that he was in the middle of a transaction. I received no apology. Strike #4

He then mumbled something to me, which I did not understand, since I do not speak mumble. He handed me a gift card. I asked him, “What is this for? “

He said, “ Oh you get it because of mumble , mumble, mumble, mumble.”

“I do not understand , why are you giving me a gift card? And why is it a used gift card.”

“Damn Gurl, you got a lot of questions.”

Oh no, here it comes, I can’t hold my tongue any more.

“I am not a girl, I could have given birth to you, Ms or ma’am will do from you. Speak to me clearly. I have not heard a damn thing you said. You did not greet me, nor acknowledge my presence and now you are speaking to me like I am one of your little friends.”

“Oh my bad, my bad, chuckle, chuckle, you get this card because you bought that thing. We have to use up the old cards first.”

I paid, took my items and my used gift card which I was afraid to use for 5 months, in case it was not legit. I left thinking, OMG, I am turning into my mother. Nothing I said to him even registered with him. I just can no longer accept poor service. I work too hard and I have worked In both retail and hospitality. Its not hard to treat people with respect and give good service.

No More Poor Service You Me NYC

When did retail outlets, restaurants and hotels stop training their staff. The minimum wage is going to $15 and no one wants to work for it. What is becoming of us. I know I am not the only person disgusted by this norming of poor service.

I am not going to stand for it any more. Who is with me?

Regular

I have one of those jobs where I office from home and travel for work. It’s convenient and nice to work from home but, I miss being a “regular”. That sounds a bit odd, what could possibly be so great about being a regular anything?

There is earned status to being a regular. I was part of an elite group of customers who patronized the Frontier Diner on 3rd Ave. Every weekday morning, I would come out of the # 7 train at 42nd street, walk over to 3rd and 39th, and cross the street to the Frontier diner.

The owner would stand his watch at the front counter and have my order prepared as he saw me at the far corner, a large light coffee and a toasted blueberry muffin with butter. We’d exchange pleasantries and he would wish me well and a good day. I would do the same. I did not have to wait in line, he knew what I wanted, needed and craved. It was an easy and affordable transaction. If I missed a day of work, he would ask if everything was alright and inquire as to where I was the other day. It was our ritual.

Now that I office from home and travel for work, I am no longer a “regular” any where, I’ve lost my elite status, a friend and someone who watched out for me. I cannot seem to find coffee that taste just right or a toasted blueberry muffin to my liking.

What’s Missing:

Perhaps what I miss is the kinship that was developing over time when I was patronizing the Frontier diner day after day, year after year. A sense of belonging and the knowledge that someone was waiting for me, with a smile. I like Starbucks, and the new local coffee shop in my village but, its not the same. With mobile or kiosk ordering, we’ve lost that sense of community that came from getting to know the folks who worked in the eateries we patronize.